New Hope

So I took a impromptu day trip to New Hope today with a friend and that town is so beautiful, especially at night. I met some really great shop owners and people and had a great time. The Tye Dye store had this cool couple and two dogs. The woman owner is a Melissa McCarthy clone. Everything she said was funny. I loved her and  their dogs. They are expanding  and opening a second store in Asbury Park. They do all their Tye Dye product in house. I wish them the best of luck..  These dogs were tired from a hard days wotk. I took a few pictures  while I was walking around there and a few on my on my way there as well so I will share them with you here  There is something about that town that comes alive when dusk falls.        EE274845-6435-4397-A9E6-CF05A48E9498 This picture of the shop of India really spoke to me so I took a picture. I don’t know why things speak to me but when they do it’s very clear. I walked into the sweetest bookstore and I meant to take a picture of that too but I didn’t. I got distracted by this adorable card of Billie Holiday and it comes with cute stickers as well. So cute. I got one for a friend.

Zora Neale Hurston was there too.

New Hope It is a town for lovers.  Friends too but when your there you can’t help but long to be with the one you love, especially when the Sun starts to melt. Once I stayed there years ago and I stayed in a little inn called the Logan Inn. The cool thing about the Logan Inn is it is haunted. Ghosts! Yes. Very cool.  I stayed in a room that was haunted and a ghost lived there. I never did see her. Her name is Emily, room 6. Doesn’t mean she wasn’t there. I would stay there again. Maybe I’ll get lucky next time.

On the way there I saw this adorable Hot Dog Stand, Johnny’s. It was so 1950’s and it was next to a babbling brook. Really sweet. I had to stop and take a few shots. Sometimes you drive into a spot or a place and it takes you back in time. It can be anything like a shady bend with a wooden billboard or a little motel with a shady maple and vintage Sign saying the same. When that happens it’s the closest thing to time travel I know. I told my friend I had to stop and take a few pictures. I’m used to getting the eye roll or why? but I don’t care lol.

This friend was cool though. She didn’t mind, I saw a bunch of Barns with horses and could have stopped all day but we had to get to our destination. It’s hard for me to see horses and not stop. They are so beautiful. I am still waiting to see my wild mustangs. Wild Mustangs, we will ride them some day. As we were walking around I spotted my girl. I always have to take a picture of her when I see her cause she also speaks to me. Always has. Hey Girl! I Love Marilyn. 💋. I put her in my super star tragic hero category. People like her, Prince, Michael Jackson, James Dean, Elvis, the super stars. They die young. It’s too much for their hearts and minds, the burden of such extreme fame. And in the end it leaves us with the sorrowful residue of their greatness.

Time to sign off. There will be a New Hope 2 blog coming soon. Until then.

Love and Happiness,

Jeanne

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Sometimes first times are “Simply Beautiful”

Even since I moved back to my childhood home I have noticed some things for the first time. The way the sun hits the blue glass at different times during the day and makes different color rainbows. Or how small my bedroom was when I was five. I remember there was a small bed and my dad made me a little desk out of plywood that hung from two wires and you could pull it down to use it but when you weren’t using it you could push it against the wall . It was a space saver. He was a smart guy that way. I find little notes around the house with his handwriting on it. Old bills and stuff. He wrote in this little block lettering like how Engineers write. All CAPS. I can’t throw them away and I am sure my mom can’t either. I remember stairs going down to the basement and now it’s just a closet… I like the stairs, it was like a secret doorway. Wish it was still there. They needed the closet space so they took the stairs out. On this closet door in the back hallway off the kitchen there is this little door knob. It’s a face of a lion. I never noticed that before. That’s weird to me.

I was taking a shower and for the first time ever I realized I can see the Sun Set while I take a shower if I just pull down the top shade. It was “Simply Beautiful”

Sometimes beautiful things are not that far away .. you just have to figure out a way to see them.

I have to remember that. I left you with a beautiful song in honor of Mr. Al Green’s Birthday today. Friday the 13th.

It’s called Simply Beautiful and that it is.

Love and Happiness,

JLoz.

Today is #worldbipolarday2018 . Bless all my brothers and sisters that live with hope and strength and fight stigma on a daily basis. Let’s sparkle in 2018. 💛 I’ve been missing some people that I love lately and I realize they are always with me in some way ; I always have their wisdom in my heart. My dad has been gone for about 12 years now and sometimes I struggle with not being able to ask him for advice or just listen to his beautiful voice or watch him in his beautiful glory. The way he influenced people and helped people by just being him. He left me with the heart I need to carry on with out him. That’s the strength I carry. I love all my ghosts and angels. Always Stay ⭐️✨#bipolarstrong.

I Carry your heart with me.

img_7631One of my favorite poems, although I know it’s a popular one. I cannot help but love it anyway. I can’t always love the obscure, sometimes things are popular for good reason. Other times not so much. The light from the moon and the tides from the expansive sea are part of me and with out them I wouldn’t be me. To be liquescent & inhale Illumination; it is good for our souls.

. I Carry Your Heart With Me
By e. e. cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

ee cummings

The Future King -New Orleans Photographer -David Mora

I love to take pictures and use photography as a creative release and a fun side hobby. I am always learning. I have a lot of fun looking at different photographers work, old and new. I came across David Mora on twitter. He is always posting photos of my favorite place, New Orleans daily. I started really looking forward to his photos and was blown away with his work and his view of one of my favorite cities. I would love to share some of his photos here. I asked him if he was being paid by the city of New Orleans to do this and he said no I’m on my own. Wow.

He is great at celebrating and you can tell he is a true New Orleanian. He is truly a Future King. If you want to be inspired daily check out his website. His photos bring me constant joy and reminds me how much I miss New Orleans. I hope you enjoy his photos as much as I do. Here are some below.

 

 

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The Rain Puddle

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The Lakefront

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Christmas Gingerbread at the Sheraton Nola – how fun!

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Christmas Gingerbread at the Sheraton Nola – how fun!

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Springtime in the French Quarter

 

His website is http://about.me/davidnola

His twitter https://Twitter.comdavidmora

 

Love and Happiness

Jloz

Soccer & My Field of Dreams

I have been thinking recently about some tough times in high school. I never really fit in; I never really understood why. I was tortured by it really.  I never spoke about it. I just tried to keep busy. I sang in choirs and bands and played a lot of sports. I never knew why I didn’t fit in; I just didn’t. Now I  realize why but back then I didn’t know. I had friends but I was really shy and just wasn’t on the same level as most of the other kids.

I was always worried and scared and well just different. My interests didn’t jive with anyone else or any of my friends and that felt like a lonely place. If it wasn’t for sports I don’t think I would have done as well as I had. Well, I take that back, I know I wouldn’t have.

Especially Soccer. I was good at it. I never even played soccer until freshman year in high school. Me and some friends kind of joined on a whim to get in shape for basketball. I ended up doing better in soccer. We were a brand new team. Our town didn’t have soccer teams when we were coming up so it was all new to us. No one wanted to play goalie and I said, shit, I’ll do it. I mean I already knew how to catch and I knew I could jump and dive. I just had to learn about the game and the angles. Goal keeping is all about cutting down those Angles. Since our team was so new and a lot of the teams in the wealthier surrounding towns had been playing for a while we got our asses kicked. Great for me because I saw a lot of action in the goal and I got good.  It was a soccer for dummies crash course. I mean we would lose 20 – 0 and I still had like 120 saves. I was beaten and bruised; so much so that I got called down to the counselors office because they thought I was being beaten. I was like no …I’m just on the soccer team.

My general practitioner would examine me and after  seeing my bruises he didn’t let his own daughter play soccer in school. I tried to explain it was unusual circumstances, I was a goalie on a very young team. I had bruises that were as big as my whole shin. Literally people would try to take me out or break my leg. We were undefeated on my college team and that was no joke. There was all sorts of under-handed stuff that happened out there. Some teams were classy. Others .. not so much. I was always in pain but it was ok.

There was something about soccer,  I liked it a lot. I loved basketball too but I wasn’t as successful at that. It made me take my mind off my problems. It got me thru. I would be running around , kicking, diving  on that soccer field and it made things feel possible again.

I was really happy when I decided to play soccer in college and found a school that wanted me. I found a few actually. I even got into UMASS and they were NO. 1 in the country in womans soccer but I chose to go to a smaller school. Looking back I probably made the wrong decision but UMASS was so big and scary to me back them. In college I was on a completely different kind of team than high-school. They were undefeated and they were very good and I might only have one shot and one save the whole game. That was a mental warfare.  It takes tenacity and Mental stamina to be a goalie. You had to stay focused and you had to save that one shot because if you didn’t you could lose and that was not an option. I felt alive in that goal. I felt alive as soon as I put those goalie gloves on. I can tell you that going to college didn’t change anything about feeling different. I always felt like I didn’t fit in but soccer was everything for me at the time and somehow it got me feeling more centered like maybe I could finally fit in.

When we would practice we would do this thing where the team would just take continuous shots at me one after the other. That was pure adrenaline. Diving, getting up, diving again. It was great. I remember one practice we were doing that and I just started sobbing in the middle of the drill. I just stood there crying and my team-mates were just looking at me. They thought I was hurt. I wasn’t, not the way they thought.. I just told them to give me a minute.

They all looked so confused as I sat there and sobbed; my coach was like what’s wrong? Sometimes that happens.  A wave of emotion comes over you and you can’t submerge it,  it comes unexpected; deep pit in your stomach, moves up to your throat and then … there it is. Without any warning.

Dark feelings, depression, learning problems and social problems would overwhelm me at times and I didn’t know what to do about it. That soccer field was my saving grace.  After games I would run around the field or late at night I would go out there and run three or four miles.  I  didn’t run as much as my team-mates being the goalie so many times I would run after practice or after games; whatever. I felt like a bad -ass queen when I was in that goal. I loved that game. I loved that field. During the day in between classes I would go to the field and get some sun. Listen to some music. Put some Robert Cray on the boom box and chill. I got some dark tans in New Hampshire on that field.  Because I was on the soccer team I got to be in a apartment building  that was really for upper classman but I got in because I was a soccer player so my apartment was like 10 feet from the soccer field and everything else you needed. There were some perks for being a soccer player.

When I got out of college I said to my self, what am I going to do without my soccer team and my soccer field. What am I going to do? I knew that soccer helped me with whatever was going on with me. With that deep depression and I was worried because I knew it would get worse and it did. I didn’t know a lot about my feelings back then but I knew enough to know that.

After college I would go to the gym and do other activities but nothing compared to running on that grass and kicking and diving and running and competing in such a way that made me feel alive. At that time when I was on that field in that goal with my team  I felt like I finally fit in. I was the captain of my ship. For three hours I felt like there is where I am supposed to be and all was ok. I was part of a team and I loved them. When I was thinking about that game I didn’t have time for intrusive thoughts and if they did come they didn’t stay as long. After we won and we always did …that adrenaline kept me RIGHT until the next practice or game.

Whenever I would lose my way and I still do at times; I would think of that soccer field and the sun on my face and the fresh air and think how can I find that again. The feeling of being alive and in the moment of competition; focused on my team mates and that game. Damn I miss that.

I dream of soccer still, sometimes I wake up and my heart is racing and it’s another soccer dream. As life changes and we grow and get older things change and adult stuff happens. Sometimes staying balanced can get difficult. It’s easy to lose our way.

As long as I can always find “my field” it helps me thru, what’s your field?

Love and Happiness,

Jloz

A Night at the legendary Apollo- An evening of Respect

So my concert buddy was kind enough to take me to see the Otis Redding Tribute at the Apollo Theater. The line up was great. The Dap Kings, Warren Hayes, Aloe Black, Steve Cropper , Marcus King, Nikka Costa Family members of the Otis Redding Family and a lot of great soul singers. Whoopi Goldberg was supposed to MC but she came down with the flu. Great Time. I have walked by the theatre many times but never went inside. It was a very fun night and love checking stuff off my bucket list. Otis Redding was always such a inspiration. RESPECT.

Love and Happiness,

Jloz